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You are here: Home / Funny as a Brain Tumor / As Funny as a Brain Tumor! Part 10

As Funny as a Brain Tumor! Part 10

October 6, 2009 by Steve 4 Comments

In this next part of the story, we need to skip ahead a few years.  Just so you are clear on the time line,  I had the brain tumor symptoms from 1993-1995.  I had the brain surgery in August of 1995.  I had bacterial meningitis in August of 1996 (I actually had bacterial meningitis two times in the summer of 1996 but forgot that while writing this story and only found out later when looking at my medical record.)  The second brain surgery in September of 1996 and testicular cancer and testicular surgery in October of 1996.

Now, at this point in my life, I do experience a bit of a reprieve from my medical troubles.  In 1997 I meet the beautiful woman that I would fall in love with, Brenda.  Exactly a year later, in 1998, we get married (we weren’t messing around…..). A year after that, in 1999, we have our first baby girl (like I said……we weren’t messing around…..well we were which explains the baby but…….oh never mind………).

Life is pretty good.  The only thing I have to complain about during this time was the weekly migraines that would usually put me out of commission for a day.  I could usually feel them coming and soon after I would get intense pain and nausea.  The only thing that would help is sleeping it off.

Around 1999 sometime,  I remember being somewhere with my wife and I was telling the people we were with about this whole brain tumor story.  At the end of the story,  I nonchalantly told them that the doctors took most of the tumor out but had to leave a small bit of it behind because it was in an area too dangerous to operate on. (Remember this photo from Part 7 of the story? Look at the part that says residual tumor)

MRI showing the remnant of the tumor that was left behind after the surgery from Hal Blumenfeld’s book “Neuroanatomy through Clinical Cases” that I found about in 2019

  Afterward,  my wife was really quiet on the car ride home.  I asked her what was wrong and she said she was surprised and hurt (she seemed a bit mad also) that I had never told her that they had left part of the tumor in my head.   I was just as surprised as she was that I had never told her that bit of the story.  I think I was so ecstatic and happy to be alive that I just never really thought about it.  I told this to my wife in those same exact words.  She said OK and that she understood but she seemed like she was a bit nervous about the fact that there was a tiny piece of the tumor in my head still.  I reassured her that it had been four years since it was taken out and that I had had an MRI every year and the tumor had not grown at all.  “There was nothing to worry about!”, I reassured her.  (This is the statement that probably jinxed me!)

My Surgeon back in 1995 had said that the follow up after the tumor surgery would be to come back to MGH every year for five years for an MRI just to check that the tumor remnant wasn’t growing.   I had gone for four years and the remnant of the tumor hadn’t grown at all.  I had also gone back to check about the testicular cancer every three months, then every six months, then once a year.  The cancer never came back or spread.  In my mind, I was in the clear.  No cancer and no growing brain tumor.  I had pretty much decided that I didn’t need to go in for that 5th year MRI.  I was fine.  I was doing great and was too busy to be bothered with another MRI.  I had a life to live………….

In 2000, I met another woman in my church that was going through her own brain tumor experience. We had a few talks about it and I shared my experiences and story.  I tried to give her some encouragement and hope about her situation.  She was also going to Mass General Hospital where I had gone and her surgeon was one of the surgeons that had operated on me, Dr. Enzio Chiocca.  She asked me if I could go with her to her next appointment and I agreed.

While at the appointment I reminded Dr. Chiocca of who I was since it had been five years since I had seen him.  He immediately remembered which surprised me.  The minute I said my name, he said, “Yes, of course, the laughing patient”.   At the end of the appointment,  as we were walking out the door Dr. Chiocca asked me where we were at with the follow ups.  I said I had been back for four years but was overdue for my fifth year follow-up MRI and was actually thinking of not doing it.  He said that he agreed and I was probably fine but he wanted me to come in for that last MRI.  I said OK and we booked it.

I went in for my scheduled MRI and a few days later I received an ominous phone call.  A woman told me that Dr. Chiocca would like to see me.  The red flags immediately went up.  Over the last four years of MRIs,  I had never received a single phone call let alone having the doctor wanting to see me. Usually, I would get a letter in the mail weeks later saying everything looked fine or sometimes I would not hear anything back which I took as a good sign.  I asked the woman why Dr. Chiocca wanted to see me and she just said that he wanted to discuss my MRI results. I knew in the pit of my stomach that this was not good news.  Of course, the doctor can never see you immediately, they make you wait with unbearable anticipation and dread for a few days until he is available.

For the next couple days,  I was a nervous wreck.  Finally, when I went in for my appointment the doctor told me that the tumor was growing again at a fast rate.  He showed me the MRIs and how they compared to the first MRI after the surgery in 1995 and I could indeed see a small solid mass in the middle of the film that was bigger.  I was not happy.  I thought I was in the clear and done with this cursed tumor.  Now what was going to happen?  Before, I had been a single guy with no one else to worry about.  Now I had a wife and beautiful baby girl with a second baby on the way.  This time it felt a lot scarier to me.  There was more at stake this time.

Dr. Chiocca referred me to another doctor that he wanted me to see that specialized in treating tumors with radiation. They had left this small piece of the tumor in my head in 1995 because it was too dangerous to take out with surgery.   Now that it was growing again, it was still too dangerous to take out.   The best course of action would be radiation.

This is a new version of a Cyclotron Proton Beam Machine. Back in 2000, the Harvard Cyclotron looked much more primitive than this. At the time, I felt like I was having the procedure in a basement or storage room. This one looks like something out of Star Trek.

I went to see this new doctor with my wife and we talked about what this course of action entailed. This time, they didn’t feel like they needed to operate but could get the tumor by using “Proton Beam Radiation Therapy”.  This term kept reminding me of something from Star Trek.  It’s actually pretty cool!  This is how I understood it in simple terms.  They would insert three small metal BBs at 3 location in my skull.  They would then take a multitude of CT-scans to triangulate the exact position of the growing tumor in relation to those three BBs.  Once they had the coordinates exact and double checked a number of times they would strap me into the proton beam radiation machine.  The machine would send two rays through my head so that they crossed right at the location of the tumor.  Where the rays crossed  would heat up and the tumor would basically get fried.   Cool, right?

As you can imagine, there could be no movement while this was going on as frying the wrong thing inside my brain would not be a good idea. So to avoid movement, I would be unconscious and would have three large screws from the machine screwed into my skull so it would be  impossible for me to move. Sounds fun doesn’t it?

I’m not sure how exact my description is of how this machine works but this is how I understood it from my doctor.   He told me that there were only a few machines like this in the world.  They are rare because you need a nuclear reactor to use one! (That really sounds like Star Trek) My treatment would have to be at one of three proton beam radiation laboratories in the world.  Luckily, there just happened to be one across the river from MGH at the Harvard Cyclotron Laboratory.  I was relieved that I didn’t have to have another surgery but I was pretty nervous about this “proton beam radiation” procedure all the same.

At the end of this conversation with the proton beam doctor, he asked me if I had any questions.  My main question was this: Could this procedure and radiation effect my cranial nerves in a negative way? As you remember from earlier in the story, they had to leave this part of the tumor in my head because it was too close to some important cranial nerves and blood vessels.  Wouldn’t this frying of the tumor by radiation also be frying my nerves and vital blood vessels?  I already had bad double vision……..I didn’t want it to get worse or have facial paralysis or some other thing go wrong.  The doctor assured me that that would not happen.  He didn’t even say “It probably wouldn’t happen” or “The chances of that happening are incredibly low”.   He said confidently, “No, that will not happen, I’ve done many of these procedures and it has never effected the cranial nerves”.

Even though, he reassured me I was still pretty nervous about this whole thing.  From what I understood, this was a pretty new procedure………..What if a spider crawled into the machine and got into the path of the radiation and I was turned into some kind of mutant!  (Although, cool spider-man abilities would be a plus)

I went into the procedure a couple of weeks later at the Harvard Cyclotron Laboratory.  This was around August of 2000 as I remember.  This time I had my wife with me which made it so much easier to go through.  She was with me every step of the way even though we had a baby girl and she was also three months pregnant.  I felt bad that she had to go through this worry and stress because of me. I’m sure she could write her own blog about this six month time of our lives featuring her side of the story) She was a great support though.

The procedure went great.  I won’t go into the details but when I woke up, I still remembered who my wife was and I wasn’t a spider-mutant so I was happy (although, I was totally sick from whatever they gave me to knock me out. I think it was Demerol if I remember correctly)

Things get pretty ugly for me in the next section of the story.  I’m warning you now so you are prepared. All that I had been through so far was easy compared to the next three months.  I’m not looking forward to writing about it,  but it’s part of the story so…………….see you next time in Part 11.

Filed Under: Funny as a Brain Tumor Tagged With: brain tumor, chiocca, proton beam radiation

Steve

About Steve

Steve Neff has been playing and teaching saxophone and jazz improvisation around the New England area for over 30 years. He is the author of many best selling jazz improvisation methods as well as founding the popular jazz video lesson site Neffmusic.com.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. AvatarSean Kelly says

    November 30, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Oh man Steve!!! I’m catching up on your story today. Read parts 6-10 today. I’ve gotta say you’ve got me throwing my hands in the air and saying “you’ve GOT to be kidding me!” with every new ailment you’ve come up with. Man!! First, you had to lose an ear. I felt the pain with that alone. But you didn’t stop there, no, no. That’s really, really cool how your playing improved after the first tumor removal. And then to be told no more playing?!??!?!? What?!?!?? Even though I didn’t choose music as a living, I too consider it to be my life force. So I can definitely appreciate the gravity of what you must have felt after that Dr’s callous statement. Then the science-fictiony treatment. Whoa! As always – edge of my seat.

    Reply
  2. AvatarGerardo Avila says

    November 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    What else could have happened to you next? after all that pain and suffer you´d been through!

    Can´t believe it, it´s amazing.

    Reply
  3. AvatarGlen F. AKA saxmanglen says

    December 20, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Steve,

    I’ve been reading your story over the last few months. Incredible and gut wrenching circumstances.

    Have you considered turning your writings over to a screenwriter? This could, easily, be made into a movie and get you some revenue, I would think.

    Just a thought.

    Glen

    Reply
  4. Avatarjoe nickerson says

    August 16, 2012 at 2:38 am

    hi steve.. I’m sorry I never noticed this story before.. man what you’ve been through! what a brave man you are and such a fine musician and giving person.. maybe that’s why you are so generous.. you have the inside on what it means to live.. what little time we have and how best to use it.. and how to look at life positively because we just never know.. you have my full admiration and my hope that you will finally have it ALL behind you.. God bless 🙂

    Reply

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By the way, BIG COMPLIMENTS to you, Steve! Not only are you a great player, you are also a great teacher! I, too, am a woodwinds player/teacher. I have new inspiration to play and teach because of you. The concepts and “thinking” is similar to what I already learned in College, but hearing you explain and PLAY the concepts REALLY MAKES THE DIFFERENCE! Also, your written patterns are more interesting than other books I have seen! Keep up the good work. I will be recommending your sit… Read more
I will be recommending your site to others!
I have been a member of Neffmusic for more than a year now and have enjoyed every minute of it! I have not only been going thru the Dominant Bebop Scale lessons and book (OUTSTANDING!) but the mouthpiece reviews, solo clips and transcriptions are very interesting. Steve approach to beginning and intermediate improv have given me many new pathways to teach my high school jazz ensemble students. Congratulations Steve, great product!
Craig

I am enjoying your style of teaching, and you’ve done a great job with the videos….good sound quality and well constructed lessons.  Balances the more guitaristic material found on the majority of guitar based programs.  Jazz vocab is what I’m all about at this point in the journey.  I especially dig the fact that you’ve studied with Bergonzi…helps me see his voluminous output in a more bite sized way.

Milton
Hi Steve, I can’t express just how much I appreciate your teaching. My playing has improved so much over the past year since I have been studying and practicing with your lessons. It is possible to teach an old dog new tricks, these lessons are proof! Thanks, Michael Byington
Michael Byington
I want to let you know that your instructional material is transforming my playing.  It is an immense pleasure to learn and play now, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am. The instructional material I got from you is by far the best of any I own (and I have over 100 books, DVDs, and what not). I literally can’t thank you enough! Deric
Deric
Steve really changed my way of practicing: I got a whole lot of new ideas for my playing the tenor.  His lessons are really helpful, give a lot stuff to practice and give clear answers to complicated stuff.  Steve has a lot of humor and I wish I had laughed so much in my former days with the horn.  All topics, from Blues to Approach note are dealt with clearness that wet ones appetite to play and practice that great ideas.
Uwe
I can see from your instructional videos that you are a fantastic teacher – one that can truly relate to all ages – humble yet very positive in approach – never coming across as superior and yet so totally capable of demonstrating the principles and techniques that you seek to impart to the students. I have gained so much confidence in my playing from “pouring over” time and again these invaluable lessons. Invaluable not only in musical content, but also in human interaction content. I am absolu… Read more
Ron
Just to say thanks for your advice and lessons.  I’ve just read your amazing story.  I really appreciate what you do in regards to teaching.  I have bought a couple of your lessons and frankly they’re undersold.   I’ve learned much more with these two lessons than with 2 years of sax teachers.   Thanks so much………..
Mike

Thank You Steve. I think that I will be busy for years. Thank You for your great contribution to jazz music. Your books, more than teaching “how to play jazz”, actually teach “how to speak jazz”. I wish I found your methods years ago.  

Jean-Eric
I’ve been a member of Steve’s site for about six months now and the difference it has made to my playing is immeasurable. The (many) benefits of this membership are that you can have lessons at time convenient to you, they work out A LOT cheaper than face-to-face lessons with a teacher of the same calibre and you can replay them ad infinitum. I don’t know how many times have I had lessons in the past where I’ve ended up covering the same concepts when really a ‘replay’ of the last lesson would h… Read more
Nick

Steve,  Just want to say thanks for all you are doing for all of us. I’ve learned more from you than anyone else in my 40 years of playing.

If you can give some tips on One Note Samba, Ceora, and Wave… that would be cool.  I really like learning how you apply your concepts to actual songs!

Have a great year,

Kevin Ledbetter

I've learned more from you than anyone else in my 40 years of playing.
Hey Steve! I hope you and your family are well.  I’m just writing to say thank you so much for all the resources you have made available to the saxophone community. I have been using your material for many years and I always come back to it… in fact I just took a break from practicing to write this…( reviewing “CreatingModern II-V-I Lines with simple pentatonics”.) I am, and continue to be, one of your raving fans! Blessings to you and your family this holiday season! Wishing… Read more
Gerry Aylward

I must say again how much I appreciate all your material. Including the video tutorials. It help keep me focused and knowing what to aim for. And your laid back teaching style appeals to me too. 

Thanks

P

P

After reading your story I will never feel quite right about complaining about any of my MINOR health issues!!    God bless Steve and I really hope that your health doesn’t stop you from fulfilling your calling.    These books have been such a help to open up my jazz vocabulary…   Thanks so much for sharing your story and for providing these great teaching tools…   John Leclerc   Saxophonist / composer/ EWI player and professional working musician of 35 years….

John Leclerc
Hey Steve, My name is Jason Freese and I play keyboards and sax in the band Green Day.  I grew up taking sax lessons from Eric Marienthal when I was a kid and got out of it for a long time. I ran into you on youtube while searching for sax stuff. I bought a whole bunch of your lessons and have been loving it! Thanks! Here is my wikipedia so you can see the albums I’ve played on….Thanks again. It’s sparked my interest in practicing again.   Jason
Jason Freese (sax player for Green Day)

Hello Steve, I’m getting so much out of your lessons and books, amazing how much one may think one knows, there is always a new frontier or new way to view something you think you had somewhat down. You have taken it all to a new level and am so grateful. Your lessons are so down to earth and understandable and clear!  Thanks so much Steve! Cheers, Eddie

Eddie Parente
I am enjoying your style of teaching, and you’ve done a great job with the videos….good sound quality and well constructed lessons.  Balances the more guitaristic material found on the majority of guitar based programs.  Jazz vocab is what I’m all about at this point in the journey.   I especially dig the fact that you’ve studied with Bergonzi…helps me see his voluminous output in a more  bite sized way.
Milton
Thanks so much for putting all this great learning material out there. I don’t often have the time to take a lesson with a teacher, so the ability to download lessons is really invaluable. My playing has improved enormously (I think :)) – and the lessons are so varied there’s always something to be inspired by. Incredible value too!
Roger
Hey Steve, I’m a 22-year-old from Australia. I thought it would be worth saying. You’re an absolute legend. I can’t thank you enough. You have helped me rekindle my love for the saxophone and music as a whole. All the best for the future, your work doesn’t go unnoticed. PS. I am loving your devastating minor lines pdf.
Sapph
Thank you for the wealth of helpful lessons you’ve provided over the years.  I truly feel as though it has improved my playing more than the 4 years I spent at Berklee… and that’s not a slight on the school as I loved my experience there.
John
John
I have found your videos and publications inspiring and your contribution to the world of saxophone playing is immense. Paul
Paul
I have NEVER seen material like yours.  Amazing!!
Jerry
I just started looking at my lessons and I have to say, dude you are awesome.  I ABSOLUTELY will learn from you!  I started the tenor about 1 ½ yrs ago and have since picked up an alto, and more recently a soprano.  I spend most of the time on the tenor, followed by soprano, and have only gotten to the alto a few times.  I think I’ll be sticking with tenor.  I’m having a great time and hope one day to play well enough to get regular gigs.  I’ve been playing keys for about 35 years (… Read more
Wil
I am a music book junkie and I have to say that your books are the most clear, user friendly, and helpful books I own.  They are my absolute favorites and I only wish I had them years ago.  I wouldn’t change a thing about the experience I had in acquiring my degree at Berklee, but my playing has perhaps grown more in the time I’ve spent buried in your books and lessons.  Keep up the great work!!! Thanks, John
John

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